


Expectancy

by wealllose



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Bartender Jackson, Fluff and Smut, GOT7 - Freeform, Jinyoung is a douche in this I'm sorry, M/M, Rich Jaebum, Smut, Stripper Youngjae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 20:57:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14505327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wealllose/pseuds/wealllose
Summary: jaebum has it all, but sleeps alone.[rich jaebum x bartender jackson][originally posted on wattpad]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting on this site and I'm excited to be a part of it now! Hopefully I did everything right haha. I believe that there is such amazing talent on here, I hope you enjoy this story :)
> 
> Some minor warnings are: alcohol use, sexual themes, sexual content, language, but overall its not much 
> 
> -Tyler

_"Sir?"_

His eyes opened with such slowness, languid movements bringing his muscles back to attention, breaths shallow and nearly inaudible. He sat up once he realised the attention was on him, knowing the feeling of pricking eyes on his skin all too well. His head felt dizzy for a moment before steadying, eyes lifting to the open door.

"Sorry to disturb you sir, but your meeting is at 12." The assistant spoke with such a high, false tone through perfect smiling teeth. It sliced his ears that had become accustomed to the sweet, dripping silence that fell from the walls of his office.

He simply nodded and looked at his Rolex-- only 20 minutes to prepare. With a sigh, he waved his hand to dismiss the woman, seconds later hearing the door shut. He was surrounded with silence again, the sound all too sweet to him. Yet at the same time, it was the thing he dreaded most-- a beautiful contradiction, he thought to himself. Eyes set forward on the bare wall across from his view, he once again repeated that his life was no longer his.

 

...

 

_"You're saying that my ideas aren't worthy of listening?"_

Voices rose around him, the long table seeming to go on for miles in the conference room. Too many people, too many ideas, too many yelling voices. One of the men in a suit identical to the man next to him rose his voice louder, trying to overpower the rest. It stung, causing him to wince in pure annoyance. 

"That will be enough." Jaebum spoke in a low voice, slicing through all the rest that tried to get the effect that he had so easily. They all sat back in their seats, eyes now set at the head of the table where he was sat. He leaned forward, elbows set on the table, muscular arms restrained in the expensive threads of his suit.

Everyone practically gulped when they saw his stare, his signature look that could have anyone melting in their shoes out of fear for their lives. He didn't mess around, and nobody messed with him. After all, who would mess with the richest man in the room? Let alone, in all of Korea?

"We will continue this meeting when you learn manners and your places. None of you are better than the next, you're all equal-- at the bottom on the barrel," his tone was fierce, as if he had just spat in their faces without having to actually do so, "meeting closed."

He felt the prickling eyes on his skin again as he left the room.

 

...

 

_"Want the usual?"_

He lifted his head only slightly out of the hold of his hand, fingers rubbing circles onto his tense forehead that warned of a migraine. His gaze landed upon the boy behind the counter, the bartender, his big brown eyes staring back with such shine. He took a moment to drink in the sight, catching glimpse of the boys smooth complexion, long eyelashes, button nose and plump lips that were glossed. The lighting of the bar was dull but that didn't stop him from shining.

Jaebum felt amused at the question, nodding in response to see if he could get the drink perfect. The boy smiled a grin of such innocence, something he hadn't seen in an adult before. He suddenly remembered, then, that this was the boy he saw every time at the bar. He was the one he listened to talk for hours on end as he drank himself into another reality, the sound of the boys voice the only thing tethering him back to earth. He grinned again, looking down to let his fingers play at his wallet as he waited.

Sure enough, he came back with his favorite drink mixed to perfection. He set down the glass, strong hands deliciously straining with veins, skin a soft tan. Jaebum placed the cool glass to his lips and let a small amount of golden liquid hit his tongue, the taste sweet and burning. The boys eyes watched intently, waiting for a review. There was a dramatic pause, "perfect."

Jaebum flicked his slim eyes upward once more, catching that innocent smile again.

 

...

 

_His bed was an ocean._

An endless sea of rolling sheets, taking the place of waves as they carried him out to nothingness while he dreamt. He was without ship, a body floating on nothing but the water that cradeled him, skin chilled yet warmed from the touch. His chest rose and fell with the waves, steadily breathing before he dipped under, diving beneath the blue. He didn't want to wake up, wanting to be carried out so far that he would sink and live with grains of sand, never having to focus on his breathing again. Bubbles would fill his lungs, veins bleeding salt water.

He woke to loneliness, skin bare and tangled in sheets. Mind blank and lips numb from the alcohol that stained them the night before. He focused on his breathing for a moment, something he found himself doing often as he let out a deep breath. Another day, another knock on his door, another assistant invading his space, seeing him lay bare and hungover, sheets covering his naked body. No matter how many times he scolded and yelled for them to not come in, to not bother him-- they still came, curious eyes peering into Mr. Im's room to see him in such a way. Bare, skin on display with muscles loose and relaxed as he lay on his bed that looked so empty. He knew their thoughts and could see in the way their eyes racked his body, it was a thing that would get any man excited-- except for him. He hated the stares.

How had he got here? He often asked, but no answers arised.


	2. Chapter 2

 

_"You clean up nicely, sir."_

Jaebum bowed his head and forced a tight smile, hearing that sentence being spoken to him more than enough times already. Flattery, was all it was, and it made his skin crawl. 

As he made his way deeper into the room, more colleagues stopped him to shake his hand, to jokingly ask how the money was doing, to laugh so falsely it was almost laugable in itself. After that sentence was said, he decided not to stop for anyone else, and to make his way up to the front of the room where the stage and podium sat.

He didn't wait for a queue, didn't ask his assistant when he should begin, he simply walked onto the stage, tapped the mic, and had all eyes on him within seconds. A pin drop could be heard at how attentive the room became, bodies freezing and mouths stuck open at the sight of the man glowing on stage. All eyes on him, expectant gazes raking his body from all corners of the room. He felt the weight, felt the lines they carved into his skin, ripping past his suit. He felt no different than the silver podium gripped in his hands-- a shiny object.

"Good evening," he began, voice like saccharine honey, "I would like to begin by thanking you all for meeting with me tonight. It is my pleasure to see all of you gathered here on short notice."

Dull applause sounded momentarily before quieting, "I hope we've all pulled ourselves together from the last meeting, and would like to speak briefly on that topic. I do not tolerate childish behavior, and while I know we're all so..." he paused briefly, "eager to get our hands on my money, none of you will catch my attention by yelling over one another."

A look of chide flashed across faces before pulling back composure, trying not to show their distaste in his scolding. "Anyways, we've all moved past such behavior, and we're here to relax and calmly discuss ideas in a different environment. Please, acquit yourselves to one anothers ideas and have a lovely night. Thank you."

More applause sounded as he bowed and took one last look around the room, eyes snagging on a few women gawking at him in the front row. Their eyes traced his body not so subtly, one even being bold enough to send a smirk his way. He tightened his jaw as he walked off the stage, planning on drinking the night away.

   
...

 

_A blur, a flash, a dull snap._

He moaned at the feeling of the world turning on its side, a strange sensation he couldn't quite catch. It felt sickening and made his head spin, yet he kept pouring the sweet liquid past his lips. His tongue numbed under the drink, feeling the chill hit his throat all slide down easily, lips parted and inviting more to enter. He set the glass down with a thud, faintly feeling hands on his shoulders and voices laughing around him. Weight landed on his lap, too heavy and too close as it shifted uncomfortably. A pair of red lips appeared clearly, the rest a blur.

He pushed his chair back quickly and felt the world turn again, trying to get away from the shade of red trying to get a feel for his skin. No one could touch him as he pushed away, he was a god compared to all of them. Their dirty hands begging for a piece of what he had, faking their way into his wallet and into his pants. He pushed himself up too fast, legs wobbling and head throbbing a steady rhythm. Thankfully the shade of red dissapeared somehwere through the chaos.

"Sir, lets get you home," a pair of hands gripped his arm too tightly, body too close to his own. He jerked away, vision blacking out before sharpening and dulling. The voice persisted, pulling him along with it, another pair of hands gripping his other arm and tugging. He was too weak to break free, complying and following, tongue too numb to form words.

He was pushed onto his bed by who he hadn't known were his assistants, groaning as the world turned again. He blacked out, falling asleep alone and drunk again.

 

...

 

_It was some hour late in the night when he awoken, still drunk and numb._

The edges of his vision were less blurry, senses kicking in enough to feel the uncomfortable fabric of his suit straining his body. He forced the clothes off with slow fingers, throwing the thousand dollar items to the floor without a single care. It was when he felt the chilled air of the room hit his bare skin that he sighed in content, sliding himself up so his head could reach the pillows. The silk sheets beneath his skin made him tremor, chest brushing the cool fabric. The alcohol surging through him intensifyed the feeling, eyes falling shut when he pressed his face into the plush pillow.

A shaky breath racked through his lungs and turned to a moan, vibrating against each of his ribs as it made its way up. His hips jutted gently against the silk, the slide easy and quick against himself. His head spun, eyes rolling back behind shut eyelids as he lost himself, the world becoming a complete blur to him. His tether broke, sending him off the face of the earth and into a false reality that lived in his drunken mind.

He grinded against his sheets, lips parted and dripping spit laced with expensive liquor. Everything was expensive about him, from his wet lips to the muscles that strained in his back, their movements visible under the dim glow of the room. His house was expensive, his clothes were expensive, his naked body glimmering in golden sweat was expensive as it writhed in hazed pleasure-- alone. He was a piece of art not to be touched, priceless beyond belief. No one could touch him, he was guarded behind gold bars.

His body shuddered, thighs tensing and sheets becoming stained as he came-- untouched by even his own hands.

 

...

 

_His bed was a sinking ship_ _._

Holes had been burned into the sides, water flooding in too quickly, too greatly. His eyes opened to see the waters surface overhead, stomach churning as his ears filled with deafning water. The salt burned his eyes, gasping for air, letting the burn enter his lungs. He was drowning with no way out, no life jacket to carry him to safety.

He sat up and tried to get his eyes to adjust, ignoring the throb in his skull that beat mercilessly. His skin was sticky, chest smeared in last nights endeavors that stained his silken sheets. A groan was all he could muster up before forcing himself to his bathroom with languid movements.

The shower came to life with a warm spray, washing over his body as soon as he stepped in. He let it wash himself down the drain, wanting it to scorch himself clean of the night before. He wanted to start over again, a new day. But it wasn't, it was just like every other day. As he stepped out of the shower, towel hung low over his hips, there was that damn knock on the door and eyes that bombarded his personal space, warning him 'meeting at twelve, sir' while her eyes would scan his body. The only difference was his response.

"Next time any of you come in here without my permission, you're all fired." He spoke lowly, voice dark and scouring. He usually didn't use his authority in this way, but it was about time he started. She back out quickly and closed the door without another word. His jaw set tensely, needing some change.


	3. Chapter 3

 

_"The usual?"_

Jaebum looked up to the voice like it was the last time replaying, those brown eyes staring back again.

"Do you wait for me to come in?" Jaebum smirked, feeling amused by the boy who always popped up when he came around. He saw him smile that bright smile of innocence, lip brought between his teeth to try and hide it. 

"Never."

Jaebum shook his head, hand coming up to loosen the tie around his neck, "that's hard to believe, I think you do."

The bartender went back to mixing the drink in his hands, pouring it into the shaker and shaking it back and forth. Jaebum watched the movement and cocked an eyebrow back up in his direction. 

"It's just that the usual customers don't like to hear me talk, and you've never complained. It's a nice change."

Jaebum slowly nodded along, grasping the glass that the boy slid across the counter towards him. "Cheers to that."

"To what?" The boy placed his hands on the counter and tilted his head, watching the lavish man sip from the drink he made him. His lips came off of the chilled glass, wet with liquid gold that he licked away. 

"To change," he set the cup down with a tap to the granite counter, "I've been searching for it lately."

"Why's that?" Across the bar he began placing bottles back into place, wiping the counter down. Veins in his arms protruded and caught Jaebum's attention. 

"My life is always the same; people wanting to get to me. Whether its for money or fame or sex, people just don't seem to leave me alone. Not even in my own house." He rambled, wondering why he was talking so much being so sober still. His gaze was glued onto the drink swirling in his glass, missing the looks the bartender was giving him. 

"So you're _not_ a stripper?" The boy joked, smiling to himself with pride in his comment. 

"No, is that surprising? Sex hasn't been on my agenda whether I like it or not, especially not when all the bidders are middle aged women who want to steal my wallet when they leave."

He laughed to that, "you're pretty famous then, I take it?" He inquired, sounding more curious than interested in his fame. 

Jaebum sighed and nodded back, glass to lips again, "what's your name? I feel like I get too drunk to remember every time I ask." 

The brown haired boy looked up, eyes big and brown to perfectly match the shade. Jaebum faintly smiled inwardly, he was no boy, he was a man. The definition of his features was sharp yet so soft at the edges, chin and upper lip a darker shade due to his stubble that was just barely visible. His shoulders were broad yet slim, arms strong and laced with veins and muscle. 

He smiled, a smile of a walking contradiction, a smile of change, "Jackson."

Jaebum undid the top button of his black dress shirt, breathing easier as he did so. His tongue came out again to lick at his wet lips, smiling faintly at the name. He extended a hand, "Jaebum."

Jackson met his touch halfway, hands meeting in a warm embrace. Jaebum felt the softness of his hands against his own rough ones, heart stuttering at the way the mans fingers slid against his palm as he pulled away. This was different, a moment unlike any routine-- sitting at the bar, sober with someone who shone with change.

 

  
...

 

_"Sir, may I speak with you, please?"_

He held back the heavy sigh in his lungs, swallowing it down like a dry pill before nodding. He assumed where this was headed, that tone become so accoustomed to him by now. He turned to the woman once his papers were tucked inside of his briefcase, wanting to have left the office already. 

"I wanted to say that I am so impressed with you, and I truly even consider myself a fan or yours," the woman in front of him flattered falsely, "I was wondering, if it's not too much to ask, if I could possibly have a raise?" 

He stared humorlessly at her, teeth biting at the inside of his cheek. " _A raise?_ " 

Her smile faltered at his tone, visibly gulping. 

"Who are you, again?" His gone was pure snide, "if I can't even remember who you are, why should I give you more of my money?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off when another person stepped into the room. Their attention turned to his assistant. "Sorry to interrupt, but there's someone here to see you, sir."

His eyebrows furrowed. 

"He says he knows you but didn't give a name, he only asked for me to say 'Change'. Should I send him away?"

Jaebum couldn't help but smirk, still biting at his cheek in failed attempt to ward it away. How ironic, change was there to see him. 

"Send him in," he turned to the beggar who still had the nerve to stand in front of him, "and the answer is no. Goodbye."

It was a few minutes until Jackson appeared at the door escourted by an assistant, looking wide eyed and curious as he stepped into the dim office. Jaebum couldn't help but smile at that, the fact that he was in his office still a shock and mystery. 

"Jackson, nice to see you outside of your job," he stood from his desk and shook his hand. 

"Yeah," he was pulled from his wandering gaze around the room, eyes set on the tired business man in front of him. His hair was toussled slightly, hands working his tie off and undoing the top button of his shirt. His mouth felt dry suddenly, wondering if this was the thing Jaebum had explained. This attraction, this want to get closer to the man in front of him that everyone else had. He smiled nervously and continued, "I'm sorry for showing up here like this, its just that you left this at the bar last time."

He pulled out a watch from his jean pocket, the gold shining in the dim lights. He also pulled out a buisness card that he assumed he had dropped last time as well, shaking his head at his own clumsiness. 

"Jackson, I can't even thank you enough," he took the watch, "I can't believe you even gave this back."

Jackson pulled his eyebrows together, "well, yeah-- of course I did."

Jaebum turned the watch over again and glanced up, grin dulling on his lips until it was a soft smile. His eyes traced the bartenders face, seeing how different he looked in this light away from the bar, out of his uniform. He now stood with slightly messy hair, ripped black jeans and a tee shirt, so simple yet so him. 

"Most people would've pocketed it and ran. This means a lot to me, plus you coming all the way here, especially." 

"You dropped one of your cards so I thought I would try to hunt you down, it wasn't that easy getting in here. Your assistants wanted to kick me to the curb, I think."

They shared a laugh before the air quieted down again, atmosphere shifting completely around. He set the watch down on his desk behind him before turning back to Jackson, eyes set on the toes of his shoes. His tongue poked out at the side of his mouth, eyes still cast low. 

"Is there anything you want from me? In return?" 

Jackson felt a strange shiver spill down his spine and trickle down his legs, arms tensing slightly at his tone. It was low and deep, yet soft and dull-- the perfect combination to arise tremors from his body. 

"No, I don't expect anything. I was out anyways and happened to pass by." He spoke fast like usual, yet nerves were detected in his voice now. 

Jaebum nodded and looked up, "if you ever change your mind, Jackson, you know where to find me."

Jackson caught his gaze and kept it there, a sly look crossing his face slowly. He took a small step forward, closing some of the distance between them and feeling the room tense as he did so. 

"Actually, there's one thing," he began, arms crossed behind his back as he teased. Jaebum felt his chest tighten at the closeness, Jackson's smile so bright and warm. His face came closer in a flash, soft, pink lips so close to connecting to his cheek. Jackson nearly giggled as he stood there, head tilting down with blushed cheeks and hair covering his eyes. Jaebum felt a part of him come alive, heart melting as he felt his breath fanning his neck. It was unreal, standing this close to another person that didn't want him just for money. Things like this didn't happen in real life, did they? Then again, this was change he was talking about. 

Jackson opened his mouth, head coming back up to stare into Jaebum's eyes, a glint in them, "visit me again sometime, it gets boring at work without you, _sir_." 

Jaebum smiled wider than he had in awhile as he watched him quickly exit the room with a laugh. No one had ever left his office in such a way.


	4. Chapter 4

 

_"Did you hear the rumors?"_

Jaebum looked up from his desk to see a suited man leaning against the doorway--  his buisness friend, Jinyoung. He sauntered in once their eyes met, taking that as some silent invitation to walk right in and sit down across the desk. 

"Excuse me?"

Jinyoung poked his tongue out to the corner of his mouth, eyes rolling in an incredulous manner. He acted as if it was obvious, whatever he was speaking about. "You're really that dull, aren't you? There's rumors about you, Bum."

Jaebum straightened up, eyebrows pulling together as his brain wracked for what rumors he could have against himself. 

"Your drinking habits, being dragged out of your party drunk, some chick giving you a lap dance at a damn buisness meeting-- they're making you out to be pretty wild. Too bad I know you're not." He chuckled. 

Jaebum's mouth went dry, "none of that is true, I would remember."

Jinyoung cocked his eyebrows and pursed his lips slightly, " I dunno, they said you were pretty wasted."

Jaebum sat dumbfounded at the news. How was he supposed to detest if he really had been wasted? How could he say it was false when he couldn't remember? His mind shifted even further-- had he not been alone that night when he woke up with stained sheets? Had his drunken mind blocked out another person in his bed?

"No," he shook his head, "no way, Jin. You go and tell whoever is saying this to stop spreading lies or come see me personally. I'll take care of them."

Jinyoung quieted drastically as he mindlessly played with a massive gold ring on his finger. 

"What?" Jaebum felt a nervous prick in his chest at the silence, a faint sweat seeping through his skin. 

"Nothing, its just that there's another rumor about you fucking some bartender."

Jaebum audibly choked this time, heart being full on stabbed with shock. " _Excuse me?_ Who the hell said this?"

"There's a lot of evidence against you, man. All I gotta say is, true or not, you got to be more careful. You're one of the most famous men in the whole world, people are going to try and say anything to shoot you down."

With that, the expensive man stood from his chair and sauntered out of the room, leaving Jaebum to think about his alcohol problem, his life, and Jackson. 

 

  
...

 

_"You look pissed."_

Jaebum sat down harshly, fist hitting the counter top too hard as he did so. He surely was a sight to see, his freshly pressed, all black suit hugging his body, hair toussled messily, looking angry and perfect. Dark, devious, sexy. 

"Just give me a drink," his voice was low, avoiding eyecontact with the bartender. Usually, Jackson would have smiled and started soft conversation while working on his drink instantly-- but now he just stood there staring. Jaebum looked up with a dark gaze, "I said get me a drink."

Jackson studied the man longer, teeth biting his tongue in his mouth, seeing the mans patience run empty as he stood there motionlessly. Jaebum rasied his eyebrows in disbelief, an alarm going off in his mind. "Why are you just standing there? Do you not know who I am?"

"I do," Jackson's voice was calm, his whole aura calm as he set down the glass in his hand, "and this isn't you."

Jaebum felt his jaw tense more, teeth pressed firmly together and his temples ache. He didn't want to hear any more, he just wanted a damn drink, to get drunk, to pass out and forget everything. Jinyoung's words never left his mind, driving him over the edge until he was forced to dive into the freezing waters below. He was sinking, yet he encouraged it, pulling his fingers into tight fists as he stared at the bartender. Jackson reached out and placed a soft hand over one of his fists, causing Jaebum to pull back. That did nothing though, because Jackson grabbed the other hand anyways. 

The brown haired boy sighed and sent a glance at the clock. He then let go and took off his nametag, untying the black apron around his waist. Jaebum watched as he did so, and watched still as he came around the counter and grabbed Jaebum's arm, pulling him out behind him. 

"Where the hell are you going?" Jaebum asked, trying to pull away from his hold. Jackson pushed the door open and led them into the chilled night air, the city lights creating a glow on their skin. 

" _We're_ going," he corrected, "my shifts over, you're coming home with me."

Jaebum made a face of confusion and disbelief, about to open his mouth to object out of pure rebellion, but kept it shut. He followed silently, wondering why he was going along with him so easily. The boy had ruined his plans of getting black out wasted, so why was he listening to him?

He stopped walking and Jackson turned to him, hand still holding his arm. 

"Why should I go with you? You ruined my night already."

"Why are you being like this? You should go with me because I don't want you to get wasted tonight, is that so wrong? Because I'm a little worried about you? You don't seem alright tonight, Bummie, this is the one thing I want. Just come with me." His voice rose and fell like the wind, softening to a gentle plea at the end. His big, brown eyes shone so differently in the street lights, little glowing orbs swimming beneath the surface. Jaebum felt his feet moving again, a piece of something inside of him snapping, filling him with an awful feeling of hurt. 

Jackson continued to lead him along through the night, his grip on the mans arm falling down to his hand, giving a squeeze that made Jaebum's heart stutter. It wasn't long at all before he was led up a flight of stairs and into an apartment building a few floors up. He watched from the door as Jackson made himself at home, he himself feeling so out of place. He watched as the brown haired boy took off his shoes, undid his tie, unbuttoned his shirt and left himself in his pants and a white tank top. He looked up at Jaebum, waving him to follow. 

Eyes roamed the walls, eyeing every detail that passed on the way to the bedroom, the room emitting such a soft tone to it. It was much smaller than Jaebum's, but even so it held much more comfort. He heard Jackson shuffling around in the closet, turning to see him slip a shirt over his head, thighs clad with boxers. 

"Here, you can borrow these," Jackson held out a change of clothes, ones that screamed warmth in contrast to the suit he was wearing. He wanted to say no, that he didn't take hand outs or borrow clothes-- but that was Mr. Business speaking. On the inside, Jaebum smiled and took the offer. He began to strip himself there, in the middle of the room and surprising Jackson who looked away. 

He lifted the soft shirt over his head with a sigh, next sliding the grey sweatpants up his legs. He glanced over to see if Jackson was staring, expecting him to do so-- but he wasn't. Jaebum stood there in the boys clothes, and smiled. 

It seemed like a natural thing to do as they climbed into the bed together, as if they had known each other much longer. They kept a space and stared at the shadows on the ceiling, the warmth between their bodies and the sheets spreading. 

"I'm having a hard time lately, Jackson. I didn't mean to treat you in such a way." He apologized lowly. Jackson rolled his head to the side, bright eyes staring at the tired man next to him. 

"I understand, it's alright," his body ached to move towards the warm heat, resorting to only bringing his hand up to smooth the others hair.

Jaebum closed his eyes at the soft petting, a caring feeling he's never gotten from someone else, "thank you for this."

He felt himself drifting quickly, the stress of everything causing him to crash, along with the gentle touch of another man. He sighed in content, rolling onto his side to eliminate the large space between the two. 

Jackson nodded, warm breath fanning against Jaebum's lips softly as he spoke a familiar sentence, "if you ever need me, you know where to find me."

 

...

 

_His bed was...not his bed_. 

His body was captured in warmth, such an odd and unfamiliar feeling to him. He didn't feel the chill of his own sheets, the empty area surrounding his unsatisfied body. He always woke up feeling alone, like he was a planet floating out so far from everything else, forced to stare at endless black skies for eternity. Even with each spin, each turn on his axis-- he was stuck. He fell asleep that way, and woke up to it all the same-- except for this morning. 

He turned his gaze to his right where another man lay, limbs sprawled out in such a carefree manner as he slept through the morning. He watched as his eyelids fluttered together tighter, probably trying to shut out the rays of sun that were seeping through the delicate skin. His hair fell so gently over his eyes, soft brown strands tickling his forehead and touching the long eyelashes that tangled together. A new feeling added to his life: warmth. 

Jackson stirred faintly, legs stirring and pressing against his own, smooth skin slididng with newfound ease. It was easy laying there with Jackson, he found. It was easy to bask in the morning sun from the windows, to breathe in the air, limbs moving languidly against soft sheets. It was just as easy to stare into the boys gentle brown eyes when they opened, easier to get lost in them. So simple to lean in, to feel the pull between them, to let it push them together. It was easy when their lips met in a simple touch, but not as easy to pull away. 

Their lips pressed so softly, almost too soft, the delicate skin heating between the touch. Warm, easy, simple. 

Neither of them spoke when they pulled away, as they didn't need to. The air felt different in that room, and Jaebum found himself never wanting to leave. This room was more of a home than his own.


	5. Chapter 5

 

_"Sir, you missed your meeting yesterday_ _. Where have you been? Everyone has been searching for you--"_

The voice was an endless stream from a broken faucet. He wished to reach out and turn the handle off, but no matter how hard he twisted it still trickled water down the drain. A waste of breath, he thought to himself as he made his way to his office. 

"I was out."

Maybe those were the magic words, the voice instantly stopping. 

"Alone? Did you make it home safely?"

"I'm here, aren't I? I'm a grown man, I don't need to be looked after." He said with a sigh, back popping slightly when he straightened up. The woman still spoke, even when he cast her an evil stare, seeming unphased by him-- daunting. 

"Are you trying to pry about who I was out with? Are you jealous?"

Her mouth snapped shut and opened again incredulously-- caught red handed. "No-- certainly not, sir."

"Then go. I'm not here to fuel your rumors."

The woman pretended to look confused, her false eyelashes batting in such a way, "rumors?"

He scoffed, hands making their way into his tight pockets, "yes, I know very well you're all a part of it--" he took a few steps closer for effect, "and I'm here to end them. I haven't been getting lap dances, I haven't been drinking too much, and I'm not seeing anyone."

He swallowed hard at his own last words, tongue sliding across his dry lips, "there, all settled."

 

....

 

_"Is this a grey hair, Jaebum-ah?"_

The question came with a giggle that certainly caught him off guard, body shutting into some lockdown mode as his gaze shifted to the boy laid next to him, feet kicking in the air like a child. He wanted to scoff, to push Jackson's face away and roll his eyes, but he caught the glint of the soft strand in between the boys gentle fingers. A shade of grey. 

What was this supposed to symbolize-- that he was getting older? That he's overly stressed? He stared at the strand turning circles between the boys fingers and searched for that fear inside of himself, the fear of his life growing shorter and stress piling higher-- but he couldn't find it. Not with Jackson there, laying with bare chest on his warm bed. His eyes were shades of endless boughts of sweet, savory honey waiting to be dipped into and tasted off fingertips, the golden glisten under evening sun like glitter. His lips were flower petals, young and delicate, as well as the rest of his blushed skin. So again, how could a simple strand of hair make him feel old, when he truly felt so young? Never had he felt as young as when he was with Jackson. 

  
He plucked the hair from his fingers and blew it away, watching as it swayed towards the floor. He turned his face upwards towards the boy, eyes dancing across his face.

"God, you're so beautiful," he found himself speaking aloud, and maybe, just maybe a part of him did feel old. He was no more than a few years older than Jackson, yet the years of stress added numbers onto his age, and grey to his soft hair. He wished he could look as effortlessly flawless as the boy in his bed.

"I'm not," he brushed it off with a shy roll of eyes, "you are. You're much better than me, everyone knows it."

"Me? The old man with grey hair?"

Jackson chuckled and pushed him lightly, "I was playing around, you only had one. Which is reasonable considering the life you're living."

Jaebum moved his arms behind his head and sighed, _the life I'm living._

"Why do I do it?" He asked without expecting an answer.

"Because you like it, I assume."

"No," Jaebum shook his head, "maybe at one time. But if I got to do what I truly liked, it would be to stay here all day long. To lay completely naked in my silk sheets all day, to never get up and walk another mile in those shoes I put on. To never have to speak like I'm someone else, to never have prying eyes on me," he spoke in a quiet tone, "to lay here with you and to actually feel something I want for once."

Jackson cocked his head to the side, "like what?"

Their eyes met once again, "like your lips, and your touch."

Jackson licked his lips, the action so familiar on the raw skin. He did it so often that he was unaware of the habit.

"I want that too. I want to feel that, too." His voice sounded gentle yet desperate, a tone that screamed that he understood. That he felt the same somehow.

Their lips met feverishly, yet Jaebum tried to slow it down to try and savor it. It felt as if they hadn't spent the previous hours together, and as if this had been their first kiss. And yeah, maybe the rumors were mostly true about them, but that didn't change the way this made them feel.

Jaebum rolled on top of Jackson, a primal feeling taking over his body, a feeling he often felt but didn't act upon. He had thoughts of making Jackson his, of making Jackson melt under his touch-- and he wanted that. He wanted Jackson to writhe in such pleasure that he wouldn't know how to breathe easily, to come completely undone and let his stress go down in the flames of his touch. He wanted to give, and wanted Jackson to receive the pleasure if he wanted it as well.

But he pulled up for air to breathe, body lingering above his in uncertainty, "do you need a ride home?"

Jackson's eyes searched his, darting between each orb for some answer to an unknown question, "no, I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, because I'm staying here tonight, with you."

"Wha-?" Before Jaebum could even finish the word he was pushed over, rolling onto his back with a weight pressing down on him, lips connecting again.

Brown eyes started down at him, sticking like golden honey, "I'm not done with you yet."


	6. Chapter 6

 

_Was life meant to be lived this way?_

He often pondered what the true ideal life was supposed to look like, and how that life was supposed to be lived out. Were there rules to living the perfect life? Was there things that needed to be done in order for it to be flawless? Did you have to live in a gorgeous house with a wife and kids, a white picket fence and a pet to take for walks on the weekends? Was there some sort of unspoken way of life that he was missing out on, one where there's no stress and only true contentness? 

As he stared at the family walking down the sidewalk in front of him, babies screaming and all, he wasn't sure he believed in perfect lives. He wasn't sure of anything anymore, the only thing he knew for certain was that he had not been living the perfect life-- nor would he ever. Nor would anyone. 

The walk up the stairs to the conference room was filled with silence, his leather shoes tapping the stairs in rushed sounds, hurried steps leading upwards. The ticking clock in his mind warned that he was late, scolding him for staying up too long the night before, aimlessly sitting on his balcony. He had just sat and stared, glass of his companion liqour in hand swirling gracefully, eyes set on nothingness. His mind was set on even less until the hands of his watch read three a.m. Now, only four hours of sleep later, he was late to his meeting. 

Rushed movements, quick steps, mumbled words. 

"I apologize for being late." Was his excuse. No other words were said as he sat at the head of the table, all eyes on him. An eerie silence drowned out the room. 

"Sir, this is the fifth time in the past two weeks," _they've been keeping count_ , "has everything been alright?"

He lifted his eyes, "fine, thank you. Just having some late night ideas come about, been working late."

A few uncertain nods were seen before the topic was dropped. Conversation began, ideas being shared and listened to, voices rising and rising as usual. No one ever knew how to keep their temper, and Jaebum was beginning to lose his in his state of such little sleep. His fist clenched around his pen, jaw tightening as he listened to the others bicker so rudely, not letting eachother get any words out. 

"How am I supposed to listen to you when you won't let eachother speak? I thought we were here to share ideas, are we not? All I hear is arguing, as usual."

"Well maybe if you would get here on time you would catch us in a good mood." A voice spoke up, causing his jaw to tighten to its cracking point. He set his pen down almost too slowly. 

"This is my fault? It's my fault that you can't talk like adults?" His tone was jeering, too calm and too controlled, "why is everything my fault? I wasn't aware that I was a father to you all-- you children." 

Another hidden voice, too coward to stand up, "I wouldn't call us children with all the rumors about you, sir."

"Rumors," he shook his head with a dead laugh, "rumors that you all spread and created. I'm the child, yet you're all playing telephone about my personal life. Here's a hint-- none of you passed along the message correctly. You all fail."

He stood from his chair, loudly slamming his briefcase closed against the table.

There was a last mumble heard, nearly inaudible, " _running away like a child_."

He froze in the door way, every single muscle in his body squeezing tightly under taut skin. His whole being ached with anger, seeping out slowly until he would burst. He forced himself to not turn around, to not turn and scream at all of them. All of their ungrateful smug faces-- he could see them in his head. 

"If you all want to play games, then we can play. Next time this happens you're all fired, let's see who loses first."

 

...

 

_It started with a text._

**_You home?_ **

And a reply,   
**_Yeah, you can stop by if you want._**

His footsteps pounded the ground like thunder roaring towards the city, waiting to strike its destination. His walk was brisk, too harsh to be a normal buisness-man walk. This one was filled with anger and need for release before his stress ate him alive. He was nearly at that breaking point, all the voices swimming through the scalding water in his mind. It quite literally felt like steam was pouring from his ears.

He knocked on the door, the hard wooden surface feeling like a barrier under his fist, one that he wanted to break down. He needed what was on the other side, and he nearly felt like an alcoholic begging for liquor. There he stood, in Jackson's doorway, a fuming mess. 

"Hey, what's up?" The boy answered, looking ravished as if Jaebum's hands had already taken hold of his smooth skin. Unspoken words were said as he pushed his way into the apartment, shoes slipping off and jacket coming off of tense shoulders. Jackson simply watched, catching onto the new atmosphere that radiated from the man. Jaebum turned to him, jaw set, eyes wandering quickly over his body. Jackson barely had on any clothes to begin with-- a simple white tank top, if it was even enough fabric to be called that, and tight black boxers.

He stepped forward and pressed against him, bodies close and pinned to the wall. Jackson let out a gush of air as his back hit the hard surface, shivering at the warmth of another body so suddenly on his own. 

"Hard day at the office?" Jackson half teased, voice shaking in anticipation lightly. Jaebum hummed, lips teasing at his neck. 

"How'd you guess," his voice was tight and humorless, hot anger still brewing just below the surface. Jackson felt the heat hit his skin, then wet lips follow. He sighed at the contact, hands gripping Jaebum's crisp white dress shirt, wrinkling it under his fingers. He moved to the buttons, sloppily trying to get them all undone without ripping, taking longer than he would have liked. 

There were no more questions asked as they made their way to Jackson's room, then to his bed-- bodies pressed so closely that no empty space was left between. Clothes were off, Jaebum's hands working down the thin fabric of Jackson's boxers that looked two sizes too small around his bulge. The boys chest heaved beautifully, wide eyes cast down at the hands sliding against him swiftly. There was no messing around, Jaebum was in charge and Jackson obeyed. 

"Hands and knees," he spoke dangerously low, a steady thud arising in Jackson's chest at the words. He listened, bare body rising to his hands and knees that dug into the soft mattress below him. He tried to catch his breath, tried to better prepare himself-- he was ready, but fuck, how could he be prepared for someone as good as Jaebum? 

His eyes shut, eyelashes sifting together tightly as he breathed through open lips-- waiting. He waited for any movement that the other would make, waited for a touch or a caress to his skin that felt on edge. His heart stuttered at the feeling of being watched, wondering where the pair of eyes was set. 

He tensed when he felt two large hands rest on ass, relaxing only slightly as they massaged the skin roughly. He bit his lip tightly between his teeth, pushing back against the touch greedily. 

Jaebum nearly growled as he stared at the boy ready for him on the bed, his eyes lidded and body begging to move closer to touch Jackson's smooth skin. With the way Jackson had his hips in the air, he couldn't miss the glimpse he caught of his entrance that shyly hid between his ass. The breaking point was when he saw that he had already stretched himself before he showed up.

The entire time it was rough, Jackson's bed whining under the quick snaps of Jaebum's hips, each thrust forward arising another creak from the bed frame, and an even louder cry from the boy receiving the other end. Jackson's hands clutched at the sheets mercilessly as his body was forced forward repetidly, the steady pulse of Jaebum's hips unforgiving and hard. He thought he nearly blacked out for a moment when he saw stars flash before his eyes, cheeks blushing profusely as he relaized his mouth was ajar and shaky moans left his body in a constant stream. He heard mumbles of nonsense from behind him where Jaebum sat on his knees, grunting deeply and body pressed against the boy underneath his weight. 

Quick, rough, hard, steady-- Jackson being pushed into another part of his mind he didn't know to exist. One where everything was shut off besides the feeling of his prostate being beautifully abused with such pleasure. A tear rolled down his cheek as he pressed further back against Jaebum's hips, silently begging for more, deeper, harder. A part of his conscious spoke 'too much', but he didn't want to listen. He wanted to keep going, to see where Jaebum could push him next, to see how far he could go before falling off into the deep end. The shallow feeling in his body rose, waves crashing violently as the intensity picked up, knowing it wasn't long before he fell in to get swept away. He craved it more than anything, more than air he wanted to be filled with the water so high until he couldn't take any more. 

His body slumped against the mattress, unable to be held up by himself any longer. He felt hands grip his waist tightly, forcing his ass into the air and back to arch beautifully as Jaebum pushed deeper. A countdown had started, but neither of the two knew where to come in or how to count along, anxiously awaiting the end. 

It came quick and hard, a flash behind Jackson's eyes as he came harder than he ever had, breath stalling halfway out of his lungs as he all but screamed into the soft pillows. Jaebum kept at it, the rhythm engraved into Jackson's mind as the pulse continued, forcing out his orgasm as long as it could go before he was coming too.

Overstimulation kicked in and Jackson whimpered, his body being pushed to the edge as Jaebum rode out his high. All he could think was Jackson, how good Jackson was, how good Jackson felt to him. He let out one more deep moan and gave one last thrust before pulling out, leaving Jackson feeling so empty once he was gone. Each breath the boy let out held a whimper at the end, face still burried deep into his pillows when he felt Jaebum's brusing grip leave his hips and set them on the bed again. 

He lay still, concious barely coming back. He felt his breaths enter and exit his lungs again, his heavy heart beat, the sheets still being clutched between his fingers still, and the wet mess under his chest. Everything was so hazy around the edges, eyes met with blurred vision when he opened them. He gained control back over himself, then, pushing his chest off the bed with a dull whimper, staring at the stained sheets.

Jaebum watched with lidded eyes as the oblivious boy languidly moved and whimpered, that flame that had consumed him finally dying down. A new feeling took its place as he stared at Jackson who was wrecked and needing to be built back up again-- helpless and ravished.

"It's okay," his voice was ragged yet so gentle, a hand stroking through Jackson's hair, "I'll clean you up."

He stood with shaking legs, body still coming down from the high he was just basking in. He rolled the condom off his length and threw it out, regaining his breathing while turning back around. Eyes were met with Jackson-- which was a sight of its own. His hips bruised where fingers had dug in to the soft flesh, legs spread and his raw entrance just barely visible, the skin stretched and blushed deeply. Jaebum sucked in a heavy breath and set himself in motion, picking up the boy in his arms to carry him to the bathroom.

"Thank you," Jackson spoke up after time had passed and the two were sat in the bathtub, warm water engulfing their bodies.

"Don't thank me," Jaebum had his head resting on the wall behind him, lazily staring at him across the way, "I should be thanking you for putting up with me."

"Putting up with you? You're crazy, Jaebum-ah. Don't you see what you do to me?" He tried to speak in his usual voice but couldn't raise his tone, sounding weak and frail. He shifted himself and grimaced, setting himself back down slowly.

"Yeah," Jaebum sighed, "I see that I hurt you."

"I'll be fine, I liked it. No ones ever made me feel like that before." There was a glint in his dark eyes, his stare far off yet so steady.

Jaebum couldn't ward off the small grin that flooded his lips. _If only he could see himself,_ Jackson thought with a lazy smile, _that handsome gleam in his eye would burst his heart like mine_ , "but don't get too cocky now."

Jaebum laughed lightly and splashed some bubbles at the boy, receiving a laugh that rang through the walls.

"What am I supposed to sleep on now? You messed up my only sheets."

"I took care of it, don't worry."

Jackson jokingly threw a hand over his chest with a swooning look that flashed across his features, "such a gentleman after you fuck me like an animal."

"You said you liked it," he rolled his eyes in return, grinning as Jackson's playfulness came back. The boy slid his hand down his chest as he looked back to the man across from him, shifting again to get closer this time.

"I know, and I did. Maybe people should piss you off at work more often."

Their skin brushed under the warm water in such a soft touch, and Jaebum smiled. The aroma of bubbles smelled of flower petals, Jackson's skin matching the scent perfectly with its pink shade. Jaebum sighed in content as Jackson placed a kiss against his lips.

"You know," Jaebum spoke, "no one's ever made me feel the way you make me feel, either."


	7. Chapter 7

 

_Someone was following him._  

He felt eyes tickling the back of his bruise covered neck as soon as he left Jackson's place-- feeling them still as he neared his house. He cast a quick, discreet glance behind himself, yet saw no one in sight. It was a strange hour to be out, but an even stranger one for anyone else to be out in. He convinced himself it was nothing, and kept on.

It was around five in the morning, he hadn't wanted to leave so soon but Jackson insisted before Jaebum missed more meetings or more paper work and pissed anyone else off. It was nice to have him worry over him, even though he didn't want to cause the other man any stress. Jackson didn't deserve that.

The sun was barely rising over the city, the air chilled as it entered his lungs, and warm as it left. Walking was a time where he could relax and set his mind to rest-- except not when he still felt pricking eyes on his skin. He quickened his pace to try and shake off whatever or whoever was behind him. It was a strange feeling, and he wished he had stayed at Jackson's longer.

As he entered the front door, he turned to stare out into the early morning for a moment, the air coming alive slowly, silently watching, waiting. The sun was rising further up the buildings, rays blocked by the tall stories of cement. In the shadows, hidden from view, stood a man with a camera. Jaebum missed it, and turned to walk inside.

 

...

 

_It was strange to wake up from a phone call._

Usually no one ever called him unless it was an emergency, it was more typical to be awoken by a knock on his door than a call. In his groggy state of being woke from his late day nap, he answered.

"Did you see the news?" The voice cut him off before he could speak.

"Huh?" He rubbed at his eyes, trying to make out the name on the caller I.D.

"Yeah," it was Jackson's smooth voice, "there's some crazy stuff going around about you. About us, actually."

Jaebum felt his heart stutter in shock and instant anger, body stilling at the words. " _What_?"

"Mhm, check Twitter-- or hell, even just Google your name. It's not hard to miss."

He pulled the phone from his face to put on speaker, fingers moving rapidly as he typed in his own name. As his thumb hit enter, articles upon articles popped up-- headlines blinding his tired eyes in bold font.

 

_**"Billionaire caught drunk and out of control"** _

_**"Rich Gone Wild: Drunken Nights and Affairs"** _

**_"Another Famous Figure in Downward Spiral: Im Jaebum"_ **

**_"Im Jaebum Spends Money on Two Things: Strippers and Hook-Ups"_ **

 

"Holy shit," he breathed, chest heavy from the letters before him, "when did this get public?"

"Looks like just yesterday," Jackson sighed, "it started with the rumors of you being an alcoholic, and now go on about you leaving my place. Do you have any idea who did this? Did you see someone following you?"

"No, I thought I felt something watching me-- though. Why would someone do this to me? None of this is even true. I drink, yeah, but I've never let it get out of hand."

Jackson was quiet a moment, setting him off even more.

"What, was this _you_? Do you think I'm some wild, drunken douchebag, too?" His voice rose, then cut off into a sigh of 'I'm sorry'.

"I don't think that, I just know that you're in the public eye, everyone wants to make stories about you. Everyone knows about you, so it's easy for people to get into these lies."

"That doesn't add up to why they do it."

"They do it because they're jealous, who's someone that's jealous of you? Of your life, of your position, your money?" He questioned.

As he listened to Jackson's words through the phone, his eyes caught on a picture that he had scrolled past multiple times. His chest tensed, a cold sweat breaking out on his skin. The picture popped up again and again, a picture of himself walking, alone. A picture of him with hickeys lining his neck from Jackson's lips. It was dark, and it was taken just the morning before-- five a.m. when he walked back from Jackson's. Someone _had_ been following him.

He focused, zooming in on the snapshot of himself, eyes scanning for anything, any hint of who was behind the screen. His eyes halted over a faint window reflection in the very right corner-- the person behind the camera, behind it all.

" _Jinyoung_."

 

...

 

_"You called?"_

Jaebum felt his jaw tense at the sound of the voice, the smirk living in it clear without having to see. He didn't want to turn to face the other man, even though he had called him to his office and made it known that it was urgent.

"I did," Jaebum's voice was taut yet demeaning, turning his body to face his new found enemy. There he stood, all black suit, slicked back hair, rings of pure gold covering his fingers-- the almighty Jinyoung. And he looked like the devil with that grin. He knew what he had done.

"You look like shit, Jaebum. Haven't gotten much sleep?" He stepped closer, taking a seat in front of the desk, signalling Jaebum to sit as well like he owned the place. He sat, jaw tightening and a burning gaze simmering Jinyoung's fireproof skin.

"You know what you did, and I know what you did. It's not funny, this game you're playing won't end in your favor." Jaebum got in the first word.

"Oh, and like it'll end in yours? You see the headlines, _sir_ , you see what people think of you. All I had to do was drop a few pictures, say a few words. They did the rest."

"Who is _they_? People working for you?" Jaebum nearly cut him off, his voice dripping in pure annoyance.

"The people, the world. Everyone knows you, Jaebum, now nearly everyone in the world knows you as _Mr. Party_ , reckless drinker, a man of many sexual escapades. Which you can't deny, not with all those hickeys." His eyes traveled the small expanse of Jaebum's neck that was showing, knowing what was hidden underneath his white collar.

"What's wrong with that, huh? What's wrong with a grown man going out with someone once in awhile? Getting drinks once in awhile? There is no affairs, no escapades, there's one person."

"That's not what the rest of the world thinks, I didn't tell them that you were going around fucking multiple people, they just assumed you were. That's how people think of you now-- lowly. That you're probably doing the worst of the worst." The look on Jinyoung's face was enough to cause an explosion in Jaebum's chest. The smug look causing flares to set off, ticking down to nothing.

Jaebum breathed heavily, "no matter what you told them, this is your fault. It's your fault any of this got out, and it's your fault that it's gotten to this extent. Why would you do this to me? Why, Jinyoung?"

His expression turned slate, any trace of grin or smirk wiped clean, "you treat everyone else around you like shit, like I'm some scum on the bottom of your shoe. You get it all, the fame, the money, the women, the credit. What do I get as your left hand man? Absolutely nothing. On top of that, everything you get you take for granted. You're never happy even with everything you have."

"Don't talk of my happiness like it only comes from money and fame. I'm not happy because of things far beyond this business, don't bring my personal life into this any more than you already have. I take the fame and women for granted because its worthless-- fame only turns you over and spits you out. Women don't interest me. If you want them, have them." Jaebum tried to give a look half as intimidating as Jinyoung's.

"So you're saying you don't want to be famous, then? I could fix that. I could also fix the women, too. I could out you if you'd like, maybe catch you a few more men to fuck around with instead of working?" Jinyoung tilted his head to the side, eyes dark and serious, humor swimming in the dark pools.

"Shut the hell up, Jinyoung. You've done enough. You're jealous, that's all you are." He spat, anger getting the best of him.

"Thinking about it now, why would I be jealous of you? A depressed, alcoholic loser. I don't know what's more sad, the rumors, or the fact that they're not true, and that in reality, you sleep alone and jerk off in your own bed every night."

Jaebum stood from his desk, palms echoing off of the hard desk top. He stood over Jinyoung, broad shoulders squared up to the man who still sat, unbothered smirk on his lips.

"Get out, don't come back. I don't want to see your childish face again."

"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" Jinyoung stood, sarcastic pity in his tone as he batted his eyes in Jaebum's face, "maybe I _should_ get you some more boys to play with, so pathetic and tense."

Jaebum couldn't process that he had moved when he did, not until he felt his palm smack against a smooth surface. His mind snapped, anger flooding through his skull and down his spine, the hot furious liquid causing his body to react. He slapped Jinyoung across the face, silence ringing through the room. It was a moment before the other man moved, the sting burning his cheek to a red color. He smirked, emotionless when he moved, eyes cast onto the tabletop.

On the other hand, Jaebum's eyes were wide, yet he tried to compose of himself, to not look scared for when their eyes met again. When they did, he knew Jinyoung saw the fear flash across his iris', and he saw hurt flash across Jinyoung's. Yet, they both kept up their previous auras.

"Get the hell out and don't come back." Jaebum spoke in pauses, trying desperately to have some affect on him. Jinyoung only gave him one last hurt filled look before turning to the door.

"Don't expect these rumors to stop, it's not on me anymore. It's the media's problem now until it dies down, but I'm done, Jaebum. I'm done with it all, I'm done with you," He didn't look at him when he spoke, "look what life turns us into, what have we turned into?"

With that, he stepped out, and the door closed heavily behind him. Jaebum was left to stand behind his desk with a pain thudding deeply in his chest. _What have I turned into?_

 

...

 

_"Hey sugar, why the long face?"_

Jaebum peered over the lip of his glass at the voice, smooth like the alcohol that slid down his throat. A boy was striding over to him, body glowing in the dimly lit, packed club. His body was held up by tall, cherry red heels that shimmered under strobe lights, legs bare up to his ass that was barely covered with black lingerie. His shirt attempted to cover his privates, yet as his hips swayed, the thin fabric showed off the black lace proudly.

He swallowed thickly, eyes stuck watching him come closer, breath hitching as he took a seat on his lap.

"You with me?" The boy snapped his long fingers in front of Jaebum's face, the sparkles on his nails blinding.

"Yeah," Jaebum spoke weakly, as if he wasn't sure if he _was_ with him, "I'm here."

The boy smirked and ran his fingers through Jaebum's hair, lip tucking between his teeth, "good, baby. Stay with me, the night is still too young to fall asleep."

Jaebum couldn't respond with the closeness between them, the others warm breath fanning against his ear as he whispered, voice breaking through the thunderous music. It was just them, Jaebum, and the stranger on his lap.

"What's your name?" He questioned up at the boy when he found his voice again.

"Youngjae," his smile was iridescent, "and I know who you are."

"You do?" Jaebum questioned, "not surprising, most people do. Or they think they do."

"Most people think they know me, too, but I'm far more than just this ass," the boy-- _Youngjae_ \-- smiled as he repositioned himself, swaying his hips and straddling Jaebum who let out a heavy breath under the weight on his lap.

Jaebum let his eyes move along the room, seeing so many other men alone, waiting to be hit on by a pretty boy, "why are you talking to me? What's so special about me?"

"I said, _I know you_. All these other guys are just boys, not men like you." Youngjae rolled his eyes as he fixed his top, pulling the neck down to expose the skin on his silken shoulder.

"Even with these rumors swimming around about me, you still consider me a man?" Jaebum scoffed, his fingers subconsiously brushing against the boys shoulder and down his arm.

"Of course," his voice came closer, "even though the world is calling you scum you still dress up and go outside.   
I relate to that, plus, it makes you more of a man in my eyes."

Jaebum didn't reply, just letting the words sink into to his tipsy mind. His fingers still traced the boys skin, stopping where his shirt lay over his arm. His lips came closer, the gloss coating them shining dully, scent of perfume filling his nose with each breath, "you have to pay to touch, baby."

"I've got all the money in the world," He replied drunkenly without a care in the world, eyes entranced on Youngjae's bare shoulder, watching as the fabric of his shirt slipped lower.

"You know playing with me will only make the rumors true," Youngjae whispered hotly against his ear, slowly pulling the man's fingers away from his soft skin, "don't give in to them, even though I know I'm too sweet to resist." Jaebum knew the words were true, but did it matter when he was so far gone? He put his glass to his lips again.

Youngjae leaned back, "you got someone?"

"Yeah," Jackson instantly flashed into mind, "yeah, I do."

"Go to him, there's nothing else for you to see here. You've got something more important waiting for you out there. You don't need to waste your money on me, sugar." Youngjae stood, fixing his shirt again and not so discreetly pulling his panties into place. Jaebum couldn't help but stare up at him and smile, taking the hand that was held out to him and standing. Their faces were close again, the shade of Youngjae's eyes so different than Jackson's-- he favored Jackson's more.

"Go get him, and don't let anything stop you."

Jaebum gave a grin before nodding, leaning over to slip a bill into the boys stockings before heading to the doors, stumbling his way outside. Youngjae smiled, shaking his head and pulling the money out to count, "what a man."


	8. Chapter 8

 

_Somewhere along the way to Jackson's house he had started crying._

Tears rolled down his numb cheeks, staining his emotionless face with pain and sadness, even though he didn't feel it deep inside. It was like smiling, and how sometimes the smile doesn't reach the eyes the way it would if you were truly happy. His tears fell, but it didn't reach his heart.

He was hurt, yet his mind was blank, a clean slate of grey as his feet walked on the equally grey, wet ground. It had barely stopped raining when he left the club, the city filled with the aroma of fresh earth that now sat condensating on window panes. A few drops fell onto him here and there, a tear dripping onto the front of his shirt as well. He didn't feel sorrow or anger-- he felt tired.

He would have left the club as soon as he parted from Youngjae, but someone stopped him before he got to the door. ' _Don't leave yet,'_ they said, _'it's still raining-- have a few more drinks, on me.'_

The extra alcohol settled in, making its way deeper into his body and taking control. He felt his mind shift, his body spreading with nullness and his fingers turning numb. The feeling washed over him like the fresh rain, each droplet hitting every inch of his skin until he was doused in the sweet liquid, left to soak. Jackson's house was the shore, he supposed. As he made it to the door, his breathing came out quicker, yet not as easily as he wished.

The door opened after his hand subconciously knocked for him, a few minutes of heavy breathing passing before the boy appeared.

"Jaebum," he heard his name being spoken, and it sent a cracks to form along his heart. It was Jackson, his mind caught up to understand where he was, to take in his surroundings. He was with Jackson, his own feet had taken him there.

"I'm tired," Jaebum mumbled, lips barely moving around the words, "let me in, please."

He hadn't realized what he had said, but the look on Jackson's face made him wonder. He was more drunk than he had previously thought, so drunk that he felt himself falling over. Jackson caught him and pulled him inside, wasting no time before they were in his bedroom. He watched as if he were just an on looker, and like he wasn't occpying his own body as Jackson undid his clothes for him. He watched the man undo his tie, unbutton his shirt with slim fingers and set the items aside.

"Jackson, how did I get here? How did I..." His voice was slurring beyond control, tongue completely numb in his mouth. Jackson ignored for a moment as he undid Jaebum's belt and slid it from the loops, undoing the zipper and button as well.

"You walked here, and you're all wet." Jackson replied grufly while trying to pull the pants from the mans legs without any help from his dead weight. Jaebum threw his head back onto Jackson's soft pillows, the soft scent of the boy arising to his senses. He rolled over to bury his face closer to the fabric, smelling soft cologne and sweetness. He ignored the grunt from where Jackson stood, still trying to get the stiff pants off.

"Jaebum-ah, let me take these off," he whined, tone showing that he was tired. It was past 2 a.m., after all. The man had woken him from his sleep and now offered no help.

Jaebum mumbled something while turning over again, trying to kick the pants off further but getting stuck. He sighed in content when Jackson finally pulled them off and threw them aside, then watching as the boy walked out of the room with a hand running through his hair.

Jaebum let his eyes slowly roam, body feeling damp from the wet clothes he just got out of and hot from the air of the room. He took deep breaths, the air hot as it entered his lungs, too, forehead beginning to sweat. Typically after a night of drinking, he would get onto his bed after taking off all of his clothing, letting the silk sheets run against his skin. Apparently being on Jackson's bed didn't make a difference, and he began sliding his boxers down his legs to where they got stuck around his ankles. His white tank top was pushed up high enough to satisfy him, feeling the heat dissapear already.

Jackson walked back in with a glass of water without expecting to see the other naked on his bed, spread out and bare, soft skin moving under each shallow breath entering his body. His hand was languidly running over his stomach, fingers barely gracing the line of hair that traveled downward.

Jackson walked in the rest of the way with a blush coating his cheeks and set the glass down on the bedside table, eyes shying over to Jaebum's, surprised to see him looking back through lidded eyes. He looked down at Jaebum who reached a hand out, fingers now running over Jackson's wrist.

"Stay with me, don't leave me like everyone else," his voice was rough, "don't turn on me... _please_."

Jackson swallowed thickly, pulling from Jaebum's gentle hold and pulling the blanket over the mans body. The room grew so quiet after, that he thought the man had passed out until he heard his voice start up again-- broken, begging.

" _Please, Jackson_ ," he forced his body to sit up, head spinning as he did, "stay with me-- love me."

Jackson's eyes glimmered in the dull light. "I love you," he whispered back, crawling onto the bed to be closer, "I'm here, I'm with you."

He laid him back down and followed, hand running through his dark strands of hair. Like a switch, Jaebum began to cry again. Except this time it wasn't emotionless tears, but tears that wracked through his body, aching in his chest, whimpering through his lips. He shifted closer, just to feel the softness of the other man, to feel the warmth on his skin that no longer felt hot, but cold.

"I'm here, Jaebummie. You're here, I'm here-- I'm not leaving you." He continued to caress his face, wiping the tears away that he watched fall. It felt wrong seeing the man cry, seeing him who always held his head high, broken down and begging to be held. At the same time, it felt right to be there with him to talk him through.

"I don't know why I do it, there's no reason to do it anymore," Jaebum slurred, "I quit. I can't keep doing this-- _I quit._ "

He repeated the two words over and over through his tears, letting them shake him and upset him beyond belief. Jackson held him tighter, burying his face closely into the crook of his neck.

"Calm down and close your eyes," Jackson murmured, lips warm on the skin, "I'll be here in the morning. I'll be here for you when you wake up."

Jaebum quickly began to doze, eyes too heavy with sleep and tears to cry any longer. They fell shut, the blurry vision of the world fading, feeling Jackson kiss his cheek as it turned black.

 

...

 

_It hurt to breathe._

  
His head felt far too heavy for his body, limbs weighing him down, tying him to the bed. He didn't even want to open his eyes, knowing that the vision he would be greeted with wouldn't be pleasant. The world would be on it's side, upside down while he hung from the ceiling. He moaned and rolled onto his side slowly, body hot yet freezing and bare.

A stab went through his skull, causing him to moan again and freeze. He couldn't move without the pain, so he didn't. Instead, he felt warmth engulf his body, causing him to shiver and curl up. In the back of his mind he focused in on the breathing from behind him, and the soft kisses he felt being peppered onto the back of his neck. Arms slid around his bare torso, pulling him back against a warm chest. Warm hands traveled his sides, steady rhythm of up and down against his skin. It felt good, and for a second he ignored the splitting headache he had pounding through his head.

He opened his eyes and was surprised when the world wasn't on it's side, and that he only felt slight sickness at the sight of the world. Jackson had pulled the curtains over all the windows in the room, making sure only little blinding sunlight got in. He felt okay, steady, at ease-- until his stomach churned like ocean waves and sent him off his course.

" _Fuck_ ," he cursed, hand shooting over his mouth as he sat up too fast, world spinning 360° and beyond, feet barely making it to the ground. He felt hands gripping him to help, walking him to what he assumed to be the bathroom, feeling relief as he saw the toilet through his spinning vision. As soon as he saw it, he vomited up everything in his stomach.

He hated the burn that coated his throat, ripping it raw as the alcohol came back up. It hurt, his stomach ached, his lungs heaved, spine curved with hunched over shoulders, trying to keep his vomit in the toilet and not all over the floor. Tears pricked at his eyes until he found himself crying, moaning in pain, a sob escaping his chapped lips.

He felt the presence behind him again, hands rubbing his back to soothe some of the pain. When he focused in on the comfort of the hands, he did feel some of the pain subside, his stomach finally empty. He sat back against the wall, tiles freezing under his bare, sweat covered body.  Jackson flushed the toilet and grabbed a wet towel, wiping the man down enough until he could take a shower.

Jaebum never did this, he always held his alcohol well, never spitting it back up into the toilet. Something really had changed within him, he realized, letting his head fall back.

Jackson placed a kiss on Jaebum's forehead before exiting to get a glass of water. When Jaebum was alone, sitting naked on the floor after throwing up in Jackson's bathroom-- he cried again. Jaebum never used to cry, but that's something else that had changed.

He didn't want Jackson to come back in and see him this way, he didn't want to feel the weight of eyes on his skin that ached as it suffocated his bones. He got up with dizzy steps, pushing the door shut and locking it before sliding to the floor again to cry alone. He just wanted to be alone, but was that really true?

"Jaebum, open up," Jackson came back a moment later, but he stayed put, "Jaebummie, please open the door. I want to help."

The doorknob shook, knocking sounding through the wood as he kept at it, kept asking him to open up. Yet he had shown too much already. He felt the eyes of the world rest on his bare skin as he curled into himself, the knocking on the door hiding his tears.


	9. Chapter 9

 

_He lifted the fork into his mouth, the food tasteless on his tongue._

His eyes cast low, staring holes into the plate before him, laser-like glare setting the food to flames. He ate, no matter how much he wanted to stand up and walk away from the table and go curl up in a dark corner. He ate because Jackson was across from him, and because his stomach was completely empty. Jackson had gotten him out of the bathroom after awhile, helping him shower the remains of the previous night away. All that was running through Jaebum's mind was Jackson.

He felt the boys soft eyes glance up at him once in awhile, and physically felt his gentle hand reach out and place itself on top of Jaebum's. He was warm, he was comfort, he was there.

Jaebum set his fork down and looked up, eyes meeting the dark brown of the others, feeling his entire body pulling towards him. He stood from his chair and gently tugged on Jackson's arm, silently asking him to follow. He did, following the man to the living room where he sat down and pulled the younger onto his lap.

"Just want to hold you," he murmured against the boys neck. Jackson didn't complain, moving to a more comfortable place with their chests touching. Warmth emitted from their bodies and colided into one safe space, their own atmosphere of silence. Jackson rested his head on Jaebum's shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck loosely, the others arms around his waist. There was a shared sigh.

"I'm sorry for doing that to you, Jackson."

The boy lifted his head to place a kiss on his cheek, "I don't want to hear it, there's no need to apologize. Instead, I want you to promise you won't drink so much again. It was too much and too dangerous to be out walking by yourself."

Instead of frowning at the nagging words, Jaebum smiled sadly.

"And let me help you, Jaebummie. I always want to help you, don't push me away." Jackson added, lips brushing against his neck as he spoke, littering gentle kisses to the skin. Jaebum sighed and let his head fall back, eyes closed.

"It was just a hard night. It's not everyday that you find out your best friend leaks all those rumors about you. Well, my _ex_ -best friend."

Jackson lifted his head again, "is this the Jinyoung you mentioned?"

Jaebum opened his eyes and nodded lazily, "yeah, _him_ , my best friend since high school. The one person I could stand in the business world. The one person who was always there-- did _this_."

Jackson's eyebrows furrowed slightly, hand running through the mans soft hair. His tongue ran across his lips subconiously in thought as he remembered Jaebum's words from the previous night, "I would never do that to you, you never have to worry about that. I'm here for you, and I'm staying that way."

"You can't always make promises when you don't know the future." Jaebum let his eyes fall closed again.

"Bummie--"

"I'm sure Jinyoung said that to me before too in some way, but look at me now. A failure, a sell-out, a 'fallen star'." He interrupted, not wanting to hear the boys promises. It hurt too much to hear, because he so desperately wanted them to be true, he wanted to believe. He wanted to think that he could have Jackson forever just like this.

"I'm not him, if I make promises I keep them until the very end," Jackson spoke strongly, "and I promise that no matter what comes _our_ way, I'm here."

_Our way._

"I love you, Jackson." Jaebum whispered, looking into those bright brown eyes again. Jackson's forehead gently connected to his, warm breath fanning his face, "I love you too."

 

...

 

_Jackson pinned him to the bed under his weight._

Kisses softly being exchanged from warm lips, feeding the addicting feel of plush skin brushing skin. It was Jackson and Jaebum. No other noises, no other people, nothing else in the world. There were no rushing cars outside, no leaves shaking in the gentle breeze, no people laughing with lovers out on sidewalks under the setting sun. Just Jaebum, feeling the weight of his love pressing him down onto the plush matress-- a feeling he wanted forever.

Jaebum moaned softly into the others mouth, the boys kiss just too soft as he pulled at his bottom lip and slid off, only to press back again. Jackson's hips just barely shifted, but it was enough for Jaebum to pull him in closer, silently begging for the feeling again. He wanted him and only him forever.

Clothes made their way to the floor because they didn't hold them as well as they did eachother, rather feeling their skin brush than woven thread. Jackson moaned again as their bodies lay flush, legs intertwined and tongues languidly licking into each others mouths. Not a section of skin untouched, chests touching and breathing each others air in sync. Jaebum's hands traveled his soft skin that was like linen, blemishless like a clear sky, or like the empty beach of warm sand that lay under that sky. Waves of breath rolled through Jackson's chest, falling from his lips in a sigh, his body pressing up against the other further-- a calm, yet desperate manner. He sucked at the tip of Jaebum's tongue, making the man coherently groan and hands travel down to hold the boys bare ass.

He kneaded the skin within his hold and let his fingers trave over it gently. Jackson pressed back against the touch, lifting his hips into the air to press into the hold again. Jaebum gave his ass a small slap, causing Jackson to smile, nearly innocently, noses brushing as he slid down his body to rest between his legs.

Jaebum let out a deep breath, watching Jackson nuzzle his face against his thighs and push them open. His big, innocent eyes glanced up, cheek rubbing against the mans hard length slowly. He was so beautiful in that moment, like he was every moment of every day-- but _this_. His soft lips wet and slightly swollen, red and tongue darting out to wet them further. He was an angel, Jaebum's mind was racing to comprehend how a boy could be so stunning, so goddamn gorgeous every living moment of every day. And even further, how he could look even better between Jaebum's legs.

"God, Jackson-" he gasped when the boy finally took him deep into his mouth, "you're so good."

Jackson hummed at the praise, wiggling in his spot carded between the mans legs, cock sliding down his throat with ease.

"Such a pretty boy," Jaebum nearly whined out the words, unable to take his eyes off of Jackson's mouth taking him again and again, "good boy."

Jaebum found his hands in Jackson's hair after awhile, yet he didn't tug harshly at the gentle strands. Instead he brushed it out of his eyes, sifting his fingers through the softness and moving down to caress his face. He held his cheek which was hollowed out around his cock, thumb running over his bottom lip, slick with a mix of saliva and pre-come. Jackson brought his lips up to suck at the head, licking small stripes to clean his leaking slit while looking up with those big eyes. Jaebum let his head fall back, eyes no longer able to be kept on him.

He couldn't stop his hips from lifting, pushing him deeper into the warmth that taunted him. Jackson's mouth felt so smooth and sweet, self control fleeting the more he gently fucked it. 

"I love you baby," Jaebum felt himself in a daze, eyes aimlessly rolling across the ceiling with shallow breaths leaving his lips, "I'll always love you."

 

...

 

_Jackson walked as if the world rest under his shoulder, not on them._

As if the world held him up, not the other way-- weighed down and dragging along behind it. His step was quick and determined, a destination clear in view, targets set. The door felt heavy under his touch as he pushed his way through, warm, gold infused air from inside brushing against his face. This building held luxury, and then there was Jackson-- wearing his work uniform because it was the only fancy item of clothing he owned, yet exuding with such confidence that it could pass for a million bucks (or somewhere around there.)

He made his way down a hall, eyes scanning the nameplates outside of each door for the one. No matter how much the man he searched for was supposidly worth, he was simply fools gold in Jackson's eyes. 

Then, he saw it. Jinyoung.

He knocked three harsh times, hands coming to clasp over eachother in an 'I mean business' type of way as he waitied. His mind began to wander as well, thinking of just how pissed Jaebum would be if he saw him there, standing in his office building without him, waiting to chew out Jinyoung. Oh well, Jackson nearly smiled to himself-- Jaebum being pissed worked in his favor, anyways.

"Come in," a voice spoke from the other side, initiating the plan. He stepped into the office, breath stuttering in his lungs that he forced to exit smoothly. He couldn't seem small and feeble, not in front of the devil himself.

"And you are?" Jinyoung spoke, uninterested as he sat behind his large desk. Jackson made direct eye contact, speaking strongly with his chin held high, "Jackson Wang."

Jinyoung twirled his pen between his fingers, a devious smile breaking out on his plump lips, "and? That name is supposed to mean something to me?"

Jackson spoke again, hand moving out as a gesture to shake, "you may also know me as a close friend of Im Jaebum's, _your boss_." He enunciated the words for effect.

Jinyoung's eyes flickered to his hand and then down to his desk where he set his pen down, "that suit isn't impressive, but I appreciate you wanting to 'woo' me just like you did to Jaebum," he quirked an eyebrow, "I know you now."

"And who might you know me as?" Jackson pushed him on, wanting to hear what he had to say.

" _Jackson Wang_ , the name suits you," Jinyoung stood from his desk and weighed the boys name on his tongue, making his way towards him, "good friend of Im Jaebum, hm? You must be his boy-toy, how's that working out-- having fun?"

Jinyoung was circling around him like a vulture, evil and relentless, "how's it feel to be a big star, just like your sugar daddy?" Jinyoung laughed at his own joke, shaking his head before starting again, "is his sex worth as much as he is?"

"Your words mean nothing, they just make you sound pathetically jealous of me."

"Me? Jealous of you? Poor thing, so delusional. Who are you, a bartender who Jaebum fucked while he was drunk one night? And now he's stuck with the burden of you?" Jinyoung stood directly in front of him, slim eyes dark with uprooted hate. Where did it come from?

"Why did you do this, Jinyoung? Are you jealous, is that actually it? Do you like Jaebum?" Jackson nearly whispered, not feeling himself crack under the pressure, but simmer into softness. Jinyoung only flared up.

"Jealous?" he barked, "what in the hell makes you so sure I'm jealous of _you_? A bartender who flirts with drunk guys for an extra buck, who sleeps with the most rich man in all of Korea-- the _world_. You're pathetic, _you_ were jealous of him so you let him plow you for some fame. And I was silly, Jackson, you got me there. I should have never got you the attention you wanted."

Jackson stood and let the man bask in his tantrum, letting his words sink into his own ears.

"I did this because he has too much, he takes it all for granted. He has money and fame yet still goes to the same bar and drinks the night away. What I put out there isn't lies, its truth-- truth that he isn't fit for the public eye."

"And what makes you so different?" Jackson interrupted, voice only raising slightly. Jinyoung bit his tongue and stood silent.

"I'm sorry," Jackson's voice spoke calmly again amongst the rage, "I'm sorry that you're so blind. I never wanted Jaebum for any of that, I wanted Jaebum because the feeling was mutual, we wanted eachother-- _want_. No, he's not perfect, but neither are you. I'm sorry you can't see the truth through all the lies you've built up, and I'm sorry that you're living in jealousy of others. You have so much, Jinyoung, yet that will never be enough."

He watched the mans jaw tense, knowing he was going to yell at him to get out, so he spoke for him. "I'm not sorry," Jackson backed away to the door, eyes casting over the pathetic man once more, "I'm sorry _for_ you."

Jackson walked back down the hall without a crack in his mood. A smile teetered on his lips, feeling no less than a million bucks.


	10. Chapter 10

_"Jackson, what did you do?"_

  
He felt like a little kid getting scolded for breaking a vase. His ears perked up at the sound of his own name, simmering down once the tone of the voice became apparent-- low, dark, curious. He moved his fingers to his tie, loosening the fabric just a bit, feeling air rushing into his lungs again. He had a habit of tying it too tight.

"Nothing, what makes you think I did something?" Jackson retorted in a falsely innocent way, eyes too focused on the glass cups in his hand. He turned away from the voice-- his coworker Yugyeom-- and placed the glass gently on the shelf. A chime of the cups tapping on the wooden shelf sounded like music, or maybe alarms to Jackson's ears.

"I can tell by that look on your face that you, in fact, did something you weren't suposed to do," Yugyeom pointed with a toothy grin, "you're not good at hiding things."

"I got here five minutes ago and you're already bothering me," Jackson shook his head with a small grin that faded, " _I can't say_."

Yugyeom's eyes popped out, mouth ajar, "Jackson, what did you do? Steal something? Kill someone--?"

"Shut up!" Jackson hissed in a whisper. He looked around, seeing barely anyone in the bar yet, considering it was only 7 p.m. Their usual crowd always came in later, stressed buisness workers looking for a late night getaway. Jaebum flashed into Jackson's mind. "And no, its nothing illegal _or_ that big of a deal. Sorry to disappoint."

Yugyeom pouted and rested his elbows on the counter, "if it has anything to do with that hot guy of yours, just know that I called it."

Jackson blushed.

Yugyeom really didn't miss anything, even if he was dull at times. "It _is_ about him. What are you two, anyways?"

Jackson went back to shelving glasses just for the sake of hiding his red cheeks. The glass felt cold under his touch, the chilled, delicate object so easily breakable in his hands. He took utmost care in placing them down, turning one a few times just to watch its engraving cast dull rainbows onto the wood. "We're something, that's for sure."

Yugyeom held distaste at the bland reply again, "you guys kiss and hold hands? Have sex? Live together? What?"

"We do all of the above," Jackson mumbled, not completely paying attention anymore as he stared at the glass, "he only comes over sometimes, though. I've only been to his place a few times-- he doesn't like it there."

"Why's that? Too much money hiding in his mattress?" Yugyeom joked.

"He just doesnt like it, too many people around, always watching. He feels safer at my place." Jackson finally looked away from the glass, none left to add to the collection. He leaned back against the counter and stared out into the bar area, the lights so dull he could barely make out faces. Just shadows of people, living lives unknown to anyone but themselves. Some could have lovers, some could have no one, and some could have everything in the world.

Jackson sighed, continuing, "he's not like everyone else. I know him, he's my pillow, my blanket-- he's soft and quiet and gets into his own mind too much. He's gentle and thoughtful, and complete opposite of what he should be-- of what people make him out to be."

Yugyeom had no jokes to crack at the confession, listening with a faint smile painted on his lips.

"He's my Jaebummie," Jackson broke out into an infectious smile, "and I'm his Jackson."

 

...

 

_Something switched in Jaebum._

  
His foot tapped wildly, ticking on the hard floor like the watch on his wrist. Minutes passed, and hours-- all while he sat in dumb silence. He couldn't force himself to write, the pen too heavy, his wrist threatening to snap simply by looking at it. So, he didn't.

He sat behind his big desk, too big for his small body. He felt so small, like his bones shrunk down a few sizes, yet his skin stay the same-- weighing him down at his ankles. With a slow movement he undid his tie, realizing he couldn't breathe. He also, had a habit of tying it too tight.

And all that ran through his thoughtless mind was Jackson. He wondered how his day was going, if he was tired of standing at work all this time without a break. He wondered if his feet hurt, or his back, and if so, he wanted to take away that pain. He thought about his honey skin shining in the morning glow, and how he wanted to feel his soft skin so dearly. Is he smiling, or laughing? Is he upset, and quiet? Jaebum knew that Jackson got quiet when something was bothering him. He knew so much.

He let his eyes slip closed, a crystal clear image coming into mind that nearly made him reach out in front of himself to feel the expanse of Jackson's skin. He was laying there, hiding under warm, wrinkled sheets, skin bare and shining as the morning sun reflected beautifully. He heard his giggle, and his voice coaxing him forward-- ' _touch me_ ', ' _love me_.'

Jaebum smiled, eyes opening only to be greeted by dull nothingness. Grey walls, dim lighting, the cold desk laying under his hands instead of Jackson's bed. He sighed, and it was so obvious in that moment.

" _I asked you why I do it_ ," the words echoed in his head, " _and you said because I liked living this way. Maybe at the time I thought I did, but now, I realize how unhappy I am_."

He smoothed his hands along the cold desktop before standing and moving fingers to the lamp atop the table, giving a slow look around the room before clicking it off, leaving the room in pure darkness.

"So I'm not doing it anymore," he stepped out, "I'm done with it."

 

...

 

_The smell of alcohol filled his senses._

 

_Yet it wasn't what he craved._

 

Behind the counter, _he_ stood, tall, broad shoulders, soft brown hair falling gently at the nape of his neck. His shoulders moved in a way that looked like laughter, and his back arched forward a bit. His laugh could be heard across the busy room. He was loud, he was sometimes over the top, he didn't care. 

The closer he got, the greater the pull. Magnets matching up perfectly, alligned just in the right moment to bring them closer, north and south meeting in a gentle touch. Even if people crowded the room and got in the way, they couldn't be held apart.

Elbows leaning on the countertop, leaning forward so his breath fanned across the boys neck-- " _can you serve me_ _?_ "

Jackson turned around, face holding a small smile and eyes holding onto shock as he came face to face with Jaebum. His eyes softened, "of course."

Jaebum smiled a grin so bright that it made every other body in the room dissapear into darkness. Every light flickered off at his radiency, his pure and utmost glow. Jackson had never seen him smile to wide, and he couldn't help but return the favor until his cheeks burned.

"What are you doing here, I thought you had work?" Jackson broke the moment of bliss with gentle words. He leaned on the counter as well, faces mere inches apart.

Jaebum shrugged, "I thought I'd come see my baby for awhile."

Jackson's heart yearned at the endearing words, yet he couldn't help but have a notion of anxiety wash over him. "Bad day?"

"No, just got bored. I was thinking that I should take more time to do things that make me happy," Jaebum smiled warmly, "and being with you makes me really happy."

Their hands met in a soft touch, fingers intertwining over the tabletop. Jackson watched them absentmidedly play.

"That's really good, I'm glad to hear that, Jaebummie."

Jaebum looked up at the boy with a grin, yet it faded when he saw Jackson's face. "Are you having a bad day?"

"No," a quick shake of his head, "no, that's not it. I just...I'm really happy. I'm happy with you."

Their eyes met again, lips turning up in real, pure smiles. Jaebum lifted the boys hand, thumb running over the soft skin before placing a loving kiss to his palm, and then to his wrist, and up his arm. Jackson blushed at the action, eyes shyly looking around him to see if anyone was staring at the romantic gesture. When he saw that no one was, he giggled quietly. They were in their own world, just Jackson and his Jaebum.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little update : I decided I'm going to end this story with this chapter ! This was only supposed to be a short story with about 5 chapters-- but we made it to 10 which is cool! I posted this originally on wattpad and decided to cut it off there as well, maybe in the future I'll do a little update of their lives :) love you all!!


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